Antisocial

I *hate* when people sanctimoniously announce on social media that they're taking a break from social media.  Every time I see such a status, I think, "Just be gone.  Whom do you think is looking for you that often?"

And then I became that person.  Happy Lent and Easter, everyone!

It was a spur-of-the-moment decision.  For Lent 2018, the idea for what I wanted to abstain from (grown up beverages) had been bubbling in my head for about a month.  This year, nothing was standing out super clearly.  On Ash Wednesday, I said as much to a friend, and then as I walked back to my car, suddenly "SOCIAL MEDIA" popped into my brain.  The more I thought about it, the more attractive the idea became.

1. It was the beginning of competition/evaluation season and reading all of the posts and posting my own, however well-intentioned, ignites a base, ugly part of my psyche that wants to compare, critique and basically beat myself and everybody else up.

2. Even at my most voracious, I don't so much jones for social media as meander to it out of habit.  I would rather my idle time be spent on something more enjoyable (looking at Sports Night gifs on Tumblr) or educational (reading about history or news).

3. Let's be really real: although we love our friends and family and we are grateful for a wide variety of viewpoints and celebrate differences, Facebook is notorious for burying the more nuanced viewpoints and putting the vapid fringe flotsam right in your face so that you'll post more, read more, argue more and generally be on Facebook more.

So I quit for Lent.  Here's how my 3 points of attractiveness turned out.

1. I was *way more relaxed* during competition/evaluation season.  Subsequently, I projected a much healthier "let's do our best" vibe rather than my usual "let's be THE best" fueled by seeing everyone else's scores online.  It was also much easier to compartmentalize work and leisure time.  I already had a pretty strict rule about not looking at work email when I'm not at work, but not looking at Facebook (and therefore not being reminded of work) made my evenings, workouts, movie nights with Andy, etc. far more relaxed and less distracted.

2. Obviously, there are those who would argue that my general addiction to my phone for entertainment is still a problem far exceeding any that Facebook posed.  Baby steps, people.  I have found, however, that when I do go to my phone or onto my computer, the thoughtless, unconscious wandering to Facebook was not replaced by something similarly habitual.  I would go to my phone because I was bored and pause for a moment, consciously choosing whether to play a game, read news, read a book on my Kindle app or watch The Great British Baking Show on Netflix.  The answer would change according to my mood...

3. ...Speaking of!  When I'm not regularly looking at inflammatory infographics, clickbait rants, vague complaints about "some people" or thinly-veiled humblebrags, my mood is far more stable.  When I was unhappy about something, I would talk to my friends or look up suggestions/testimonials rather than craft an attention-seeking post.  When something good happened, I savored it with people in my physical presence rather than worked on a post specifically intended to impress people.

My only moment of Facebook-related anxiety was actually today, when it hit me as I put on my makeup that "Lent has ended - I can get on social media again."  I was afraid I'd log in and find a ton of angry people on the other side of unanswered messages and ignored event invitations.

NOPE.  The fact is, I'm just not that important.  I don't mean that in a sad-sack give-me-compliments way.  Rather, I have learned that my overdeveloped sense of duty doesn't apply to social media.  Anyone who *really* needs to get in touch with me either has my phone number or can find my contact information (for work, at least) online.  No one is all that interested in my life, and the minute details of other people's lives are none of my business, even if they're being posted on FB.  If I need to know it, someone's gonna tell me eventually.

You can probably see where this is going: I'm deleting my Facebook.  If there's a really fly meme going around, somebody text it to me.

EDIT: It latterly occurs to me that some of this sounds like I'm talking about all the ways other people do Facebook poorly.  That's not what I meant - when I say things like "attention-seeking" or "impress people", I'm talking openly and specifically about how *I* used Facebook, not about anybody else :D