I was thinking about something John Green wrote on his Tumblr once about how relatively light tasks can seem right at impossible sometimes. His example was knowing that the dishes need washing and yet persisting for days on end in not washing them - you finally have to acknowledge that for some reason, at this moment, today, washing dishes is the hardest thing you will ever have to do. I feel that way about the gym most of the time. Even though I like it and love how I feel when I'm done, getting there and getting through the workout feels like the Twelve Labors of Gymules.
Labor 1: Decide that the gym is happening today
"Moderation is healthy. Everyone needs a day off sometimes. What if I haven't had enough salt today and get sick? Maybe I can just run around the neighborhood instead."
Labor 2: Stop what you're currently doing (which is probably nothing) and put on your gym clothes
"The air conditioning will make me feel cold in my gym clothes. They're tight and will be hard to put on. Where are my shoes?"
Labor 3: Make ready to transport yourself to the gym
"I can't find my car keys. I can't find my license. I can't find my phone. I can't find my iPod. I can't find my headphones. Should I take a water bottle? Should I take a protein bar? Should I pack girl items?"
Labor 4: Quit stalling, actually get in the car and drive to the gym
"But it's cold/hot/humid/rainy/dry/Gainesville outside. Traffic is slow. I'll get stuck at every red light and lose the momentum I'm pretending to have."
Labor 5: Don't wuss out in the parking lot
"EVERYONE IS AT THE GYM or possibly the Family Dollar right next to it. I don't want to park all the way across the parking lot. What if I'm too weak afterward to walk all the way back to my car?"
Labor 6: Don't wuss out upon first walking in
*sudden rush of cold air* "NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE FREEZING TO DEATH"
Labor 7: Don't wuss out when you see other people working out
"Oh that speed and time cannot be right on that treadmill. Nobody can run that fast for that long. She must have chugged a whole case of 5-Hour-Energy bottles and now she's just trying to stave off the heart attack."
Labor 8: Keep going at the half-mile point
*pant* *pant* "A half-mile isn't bad. It's more than not ever running at all." *pant* *pant* "This playlist is supposed to motivate me and all I can think about is how beat I am and what lipstick color I should wear to comps."
Labor 9: Don't fall into the Workout Bermuda Triangle at the 75% point of your planned run
"DERN, this treadmill has been stuck at 1.7 miles for like three hours. God has caused time to stand still so He can laugh at my hamster-like persistence and soap-opera-like distress."
Labor 10: Finish that second set of whatever weight machine you hate today
"Only 35 pounds and my shoulders are about to fall off. That would probably negatively impact my conducting technique."
Labor 11: Stop staring at people who can lift more than you
"Wow. Those muscles look like they were carved from marble. OH CRAP AWKWARD EYE CONTACT MAYDAY MAYDAY"
Labor 12: Maintain perspective. You're just a chick working out, you're not Gymules.
"Bow before me, mortals, for I hath completed Leg Day. My actual stats holdeth not so much importance as the fact that I finisheth this my workout. Bringeth me cookies."
